Sunday 12 August 2012

Delayed post

This summer has been really weird, and I had to put off my monthly blogging. I'll probably start it up again.

Simply put, I have been in some emotional distress for some months that has occupied a _large_ part of my brain and everything I used to do had to be put on hold. It's been pretty horrible in fact, but that's what it's like to finally grow up I guess. I remained a closed up kid for 26 years, but something had to give eventually.

The good things that came out of this summer are that we finally acquired some asymmetry from the experiment, I understand that I require company and find it a bit easier to talk to new people, and I have gained some valuable, but painful, experiences about real life.

Oh right, I now have implemented calculation of and rendering with preprocessed light probes. Looks pretty good, need to do them in quasi real time next.

My mind will be a wreck for a long time, but it'll get easier to handle from now on. Time heals. Hard to see right now though...

EDIT: Turns out I watched quite a lot of the olympics, although I saw mostly the French parts. France did well, BUT, if you calculate the number of medals / person in a country (both uniform weighting and 3-2-1 for gold-silver-bronze) for France and Sweden... Viva la Suède :D I don't really care much, I think patriotism and nationalism are more evil than good, medals are the result of hard working sportsmen all over the world. Can't lie though, that piece of nerd-trivia does warm my heart a little bit.

EDIT2: Sat on my ass last night until it hurt (i.e. 3.00) and programmed like it was 1969. Eh, no, like it was April, when I did most of the progress on FoF. I was in bliss. I hope my evenings in the near future will be like this. Mornings will be hard for a while still...

EDIT3: For the last few weeks, and especially the last two ones, I have learnt sooo much about myself and my impact on certain people from a new good friend of mine. I noticed a few things a good while ago, but I never connected the dots or let my imagination run as wild as real life apparently did. There's been a wake of things happening behind me... My mind has been boggled, and it will remain boggled for the rest of my life.

EDIT4: Had my last day at CERN today, ran around and collected signatures for three years worth of work. It hasn't really sunk in that I'm leaving a life I've had for three years. Weird. Back to Sweden on Sunday...

EDIT5: Packed my bike. My dad and I walked in to Ferney and bought some "expensive" wines and cheeses in Ferney yesterday and my parents and I had a French evening feast. Gonna miss these things in Sweden. *sigh* On the other hand, I'll have customer services that work at least a little bit better than they do down here :p